Conversations and Listening

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship and friends lately. I’ve mentioned a few times before about this, but it has been been and remains on my mind.

A couple of weeks ago I flew to SF and had an evening catching up with some dear friends that I used to work with at STX. We had a great evening catching up and talking about the past and the future. Most have moved on to new adventures and it was a great evening. One is lucky if some of the people you work with become your friends.

One of my friends recently wrote about learning to listen better on her blog. and it deeply resonated with me because I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately and trying to be a better listener (put that phone down). I’ve read from several places how important it is to deeply listen to others and listen to understand, not listen to respond. I’ve been trying to be better at this in the last weeks and months. I think she spoke somewhere on this recently and I would loved to hear what she said and has learned.

In the last few weeks, I’ve had a number of conversations with people that I’ve not known before and they’ve not known me. I’ve just been in some new situations and traveling and other so I’ve had the chance to meet and visit a lot of new people. In almost every conversation the other person has proceeded to do almost all the talking about themselves; about their situations; interests, and about whatever was on their mind. The conversations have been tilted way towards them and their lives. In fact, it has gotten to where I’ve been conducting an experiment, after a while, to see if at any point they ask anything about me or what I do or what I think about X, Y or Z. I’ve been amazed by this! Is this the norm and I’m just now noticing it or am I just meeting a skewed sample of people lately?

Someone wrote that if you want to be come an interesting person, then be interested in others. I’m trying to be more interested in others.

Hope you have a great week. And I hope you are surrounded by good friends. Blessings.

3 thoughts on “Conversations and Listening”

  1. Deeply listen. Agree with your observations. Deeply Listen must be learned and practiced which fights against our desire to also be heard. Very challenging to achieve, particularly difficult with those your maybe very familiar with. In new settings it is much easier to trigger your desire to listen and temper your desire to be heard. After all what do you learn from listening to yourself? And those who want to hear you (possibly listen) will ask you to speak. It seems surprisingly difficult to wait for them to ask. If you were to make a list of things you would change about yourself I would assume “Listening” would be in the top 5 if not #1

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    1. Thanks for the shout-out! Been slacking on the blog lately so didn’t notice right away! It is funny how when you start noticing and practicing better listening how others will get going on themselves or another subject and forget the give-and-take of conversation. It’s also funny to me the few family members and friends I’ve mentioned the talk about listening to pay rapt attention for a minute as if they were called out.

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